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Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Marvel Movies, What Can Be Done?

Let me preface everything with this: Movies, as a whole, have become generally lame. Remakes, Old TV shows, spin offs, etc. That's what you get when you go to the movies now a days. RECYCLED CRAP. OK. Now that that's out of the way onto the article....
I am a comic book nerd. Mainly Marvel comics, but i do like the occasional Batman. Now, when someone is a nerd, they see other forms of media take what they like about a specific comic, and run it through the machine so it comes out the other side, gnarled and beaten and ready for mass consumption. Sometimes this works out for the better (Kick-ass, Sin City), often times for the worse (The Hulk, Ghost Rider), but most of the time you have damned if you do and damned if you don't movies. Case in point, Watchmen. Though, it was a huge success in the theaters and many fans of the comic (including myself) thought it was apt, you cant please everyone all the time, especially when it comes to comic book movies. The difference here is a nerd will remember every terrible shot in those movies and a regular viewer will not. if the nerds like it, it will work. Whether it be in theaters or a cult hit, it will make boatloads. With all that in mind, here is the only way Marvel can redeem themselves with their movie franchises from here on out: 1. MAKE DONALD GLOVER THE NEW SPIDERMAN! Donald Glover is just one of the many stars of the NBC comedy "Community". I'm sure most of you have seen it, and if not, by the time Emmy season rolls around you will hear that name again. Donald Glover started out in the sketch comedy group "Derrick Comedy". He made a name for himself writing on the award winning 30 rock, and has even shown an impressive feat by rapping. Extremely well, i might add. With the release of Derrick Comedy's first movie "Mystery Team", you can see how talented this dude is. Not only could he show off the smart alecky side to peter Parker, but he is actually a good actor! weird concept, i know. There has even been a following on Twitter about the support of this decision. Here is how i would pen the movie as to tie in with the new Avengers Movie that Spidey SHOULD be in. Peter Parker has been Spiderman for a while now. First dawning the mask late in high school, Parker is now in his college years. School is falling apart, aunt may lost the house to a fire and Mary Jane hasn't spoken to him in years. from here we see a Spiderman the comics haven't shown too much. A Spiderman that is lonely and a little callous to the small time costumed dorks he has to beat up every week. as long as you keep it light and not too dark (Dark knight and Iron Man as polar opposites), just about in the middle, this movie should work. Don't take funny superhero's too seriously or treat them like clowns and you should be fine. 2. REPLACE CHRIS EVANS AS CAPT. AMERICA! This is an easy one.He barely pulled off Johnny Storm in two Fantastic Four movies, why would he play THE fucking most essential Marvel character there is. You just cant have the same actors in multiple roles in the Marvel universe because that is not fair to the thousands of actors that would do a better and more respectful job at playing the character. Besides, If you really wanted to seamlessly write Cap into the Avengers Movie, the best route is Bucky. Why not have the fist half of the movie be about Steve Rogers, then kill him, and have Bucky take over as the modern version of Cap. Avoid the whole, "Civil War" death and have the Red Skull kill him or something. It may not be true to the comic but this is a different world for the characters. A world that has been fucked up in the movies and I am here to fix. 3. LET BRYAN SINGER DO WHATEVER HE WANTS WITH "X MEN: FIRST CLASS" The man has already proven himself worthy in my mind when it comes to comic book adaptations. "Kick-ass" was one of my favorite series a couple of years ago, and the thought of a movie sickened me. I figured they could never keep the fun level as high as the gore level, as the book did. Boy, was I wrong! I still say this holds the title of most accurate adaptation to film form comic books. If he wants to introduce brand new characters, let him. If he wants to kill off everyone in the first 10 minutes of the movie, let him. I don't know what he has planned from here on out, but, i can tell you that i trust whatever decision SINGER makes. My suggestion? I say you show a somewhat young Professor X circling the globe to form an elite team. Starting with Cyclops, then going to Storm, Beast, Angel, Ice Man, and throwing in another female. I vote against the character of Jean Grey but I'm sure that is the route that would be taken to be safe. Story line wise I'm not that worried but there is one thing i would throw in for later movies. CABLE! Most Xmen fans would agree that Cable is one of the best characters to come out of that series. "First Class" could be a great leaping off point for his convoluted, time traveling story. And finally, 4. THE AVENGERS PLOT Now, based on what has already occurred in the Marvel Movie Universe, here is how i would write the Avengers Movie. At the end of Iron Man 2, we see a shield agent talking to someone on the phone about them finding Thor's Hammer. This event takes place AFTER the Thor movie. That agent is not talking to Nick Fury or anyone at Shield, but instead, a Skrull leader. Thor is a Skrull in the Avengers movie as the mole for the Skrulls. The team figure this out after Thor kills Hank Pym. The rest of the team is non trusting of the other members but must work together in order to take down the skrull army invading earth. you can fill in the blanks yourself but the main plot points i would throw in go as follows:- Team gets assembled by Fury to fight the Skrulls that only Shield knows about.- Team is made up by Capt. America, Spiderman Thor, Hulk, Hank Pym as Ant Man, War Machine, Ms Marvel, Tony Stark (not as Iron Man) Hawkeye and Black Widow.- Thor is revealed to be a Skrull in disguise- Avengers must interact with X-men in some way One more thing to add. The Avengers movie is the best time to throw in as many heroes as possible. There is supposed to be a threat to the entire world, which is why all the powerful people must team up. Why wouldn't an entire world full of super powered people work together. Also, show heroes fighting one another! This would be a huge selling point for a lot of people. OK so there you go, Marvel. A perspective from the street that none of you could see. If you want to keep your heads above the game, and more importantly above the water, follow everything i just said to a T. Don't say i never did anything for ya'....

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Yup. There it is. Mohammad. Is this offensive to Muslims? Probably. Should people fear for their lives just for seeing or showing a picture? FUCK NO. I'm sure if i looked hard enough on the Internet i could find a picture of Jesus being fisted by Santa. There will always be things that you don't agree with for one reason or another. But using fear to stop people from doing something or to force them to do something is called terrorism. plain and simple. I'm sure you all know the story by now of South Park being censored over this image on multiple accounts. Some people think they should leave Comedy Central for doing this to them but i say do them one better, quit. That's right, end the single most groundbreaking show of this generation on top. I am a huge south park fan and would love the show to go on for a million episodes, but i am an even bigger fan of Trey Parker and Matt Stone. The things those men have don't for comedy are insurmountable. Alfred Packer, Orgasmo and Team America. Three of the bet comedies of the last 25 years, easily. I say they stop the show after this season, and blame the censors for it. Comedy Central will bleed money without new episodes and it will give other networks (ADULT SWIM) the chance to show 200+ episodes of gold. or at least move to another channel that has no censors (IFC). Regardless i say thank you Matt and Trey for everything and you will always have supporters no matter what happens form here on out.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Futurama Is Back!

That's right, people. The smartest comedy about red heads and robots in the future is back.... almost. On June 24th, Comedy Central will premiere two brand new episodes that may or may not be a continuation of where the last movie ("Into the Wild Green Yonder") left off. I don't know much about the episode but i do know that it is called, "Rebirth". Also, they have released ONE screenshot from one of the episodes (see above). In total, there will be 26 new episodes for the new season with all the cast and crew returning. I don't think there are words for how exited i am for this. Futurama has been one of my favorite shows since it premiered back in '99. Though ill admit that i am a huge Matt Groening fanboy and would buy anything he put out. We can only hope Comedy Central doesn't fuck this up the way they've turned South Park into a battleground of sorts between the creators and fans, and the network. Though, Matt Groening has never needed to be controversial to be funny. Kinda like Bill Cosby. And what is with this trend for Fox where they will cancel a show and then bring it back after it becomes a huge success on the internet and DVD. We all remember Family Guy doing this exact thing. Are there any other shows they should bring back from the dead? what are your thoughts on the return of Futurama? Commmmmennnnnt.